| Although I was never picked for sports
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| | I lost 12 golf balls that day but managed
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| teams as a kid, I always thought that
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| | to recover 9 multi colored ones that
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| golf would be far easier than all the
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| | didn't belong to me. This leads me to
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| others as it required very little
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| | believe I'm not alone in my inability to
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| physical exertion in regards to chasing a
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| | hit a golf ball straight. I didn't come
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| ball up and down a field for 90 minutes
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| | across the dead bodies of any lost
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| while opponents try to take the legs out
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| | golfers looking for their own golf balls
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| from under you.I mean, how difficult
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| | but I was fully expecting to.Just when I
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| could it be? You stand still, look at the
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| | was about to assign golf to a watery
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| hole at the other end of the green, look
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| | grave by hurling my 9 iron as far across
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| at the ball and then hit it as hard as
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| | the nearest water hazard as I could, two
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| you can with a metal or wooden club. Even
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| | extremely attractive females came walking
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| better, once you do, you don't have to
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| | over the hill behind us. They too were
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| run as fast as you can to the hole.
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| | searching for their lost golf balls.
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| Instead you take a taxi in the form of a
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| | (I swear you couldn't make this stuff up
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| golf cart. How sweet is that!I had a rude
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| | if you were writing a film.)We exchanged
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| awakening one day when a friend of mine
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| | golfing disaster stories and after a bit
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| managed to talk me into playing a few
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| | of chatting decided to retire to the club
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| rounds down at one of the local courses.
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| | house for the day to escape the rain and
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| For starters there were no golf carts, so
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| | plan a new strategy of attack.Thanks to
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| we had to walk around all 18 holes. That
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| | my golfing disaster we now have dates for
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| wouldn't have been so bad but for the
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| | this Friday night and although I caught
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| fact there were no golf caddies on that
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| | the cold, lost my balls and was
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| day either so we had to carry the bags of
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| | thoroughly pissed off for most of the
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| clubs around too. Damn those things are
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| | game. (I was losing a bet with my friend)
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| heavy! Golf caddy's do not get paid
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| | I can't help but feel that meeting girls
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| enough.To make matters worse, it began to
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| | at a stadium of 90,000 screaming fans
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| rain half way through the game. So there
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| | just would not have happened.Although I'm
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| I am, soaked, sore, tired and about to
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| | still useless at golf, my opinion of the
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| drive my tuft of grass another 100 yards,
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| | sport has changed completely. Not only
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| for that is all I seemed to be hitting
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| | for obvious reasons but I've come to
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| all morning.Someone must have super glued
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| | learn there is a great deal of skill
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| the golf ball to the tee because every
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| | required to hit a ball straight with a
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| time I looked down after swinging that
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| | bent club in a cross wind.So the next
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| freakin club, there it was, smiling up at
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| | time you laugh at the poor guy or girl
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| me, wondering why I wasn't hitting it. On
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| | who is hitting a golf club into the
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| the few occasions that I did manage to
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| | ground repeatedly, show them a little
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| hit it, it made a lovely plopping sound
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| | sympathy as they may be at the end of
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| as it hit the water, sinking into the
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| | their teather. And the next time you see
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| murky depths of the nearest water hazard,
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| | a pro sink a ball in 2 shots, stand in
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| never to be seen again.Or I spent the
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| | awe at the amount of time, patience and
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| rest of my time doing a David
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| | effort they must have put in to their
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| Attenborough as I searched through the
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| | game to become THAT good.Jack Crow is a
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| rough long grass (in vein I might add)
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| | freelance writer and part time golfer.
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| looking for that elusive white golf ball.
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| | When he's not writing articles he's
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| I actually managed to find many day glow
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| | trying to improve his golf swing at his
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| and colored golf balls on my safari for
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| | local course.
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| my own but alas it was never found.In all
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