| Although I was never picked for sports teams as | | | | all I lost 12 golf balls that day but managed to |
| a kid, I always thought that golf would be far | | | | recover 9 multi colored ones that didn't belong to |
| easier than all the others as it required very little | | | | me. This leads me to believe I'm not alone in my |
| physical exertion in regards to chasing a ball up | | | | inability to hit a golf ball straight. I didn't come |
| and down a field for 90 minutes while opponents | | | | across the dead bodies of any lost golfers looking |
| try to take the legs out from under you.I mean, | | | | for their own golf balls but I was fully expecting |
| how difficult could it be? You stand still, look at | | | | to.Just when I was about to assign golf to a |
| the hole at the other end of the green, look at | | | | watery grave by hurling my 9 iron as far across |
| the ball and then hit it as hard as you can with a | | | | the nearest water hazard as I could, two |
| metal or wooden club. Even better, once you do, | | | | extremely attractive females came walking over |
| you don't have to run as fast as you can to the | | | | the hill behind us. They too were searching for |
| hole. Instead you take a taxi in the form of a golf | | | | their lost golf balls. |
| cart. How sweet is that!I had a rude awakening | | | | (I swear you couldn't make this stuff up if you |
| one day when a friend of mine managed to talk | | | | were writing a film.)We exchanged golfing disaster |
| me into playing a few rounds down at one of the | | | | stories and after a bit of chatting decided to |
| local courses. For starters there were no golf | | | | retire to the club house for the day to escape |
| carts, so we had to walk around all 18 holes. That | | | | the rain and plan a new strategy of attack.Thanks |
| wouldn't have been so bad but for the fact there | | | | to my golfing disaster we now have dates for |
| were no golf caddies on that day either so we | | | | this Friday night and although I caught the cold, |
| had to carry the bags of clubs around too. Damn | | | | lost my balls and was thoroughly pissed off for |
| those things are heavy! Golf caddy's do not get | | | | most of the game. (I was losing a bet with my |
| paid enough.To make matters worse, it began to | | | | friend) I can't help but feel that meeting girls at a |
| rain half way through the game. So there I am, | | | | stadium of 90,000 screaming fans just would not |
| soaked, sore, tired and about to drive my tuft of | | | | have happened.Although I'm still useless at golf, |
| grass another 100 yards, for that is all I seemed | | | | my opinion of the sport has changed completely. |
| to be hitting all morning.Someone must have | | | | Not only for obvious reasons but I've come to |
| super glued the golf ball to the tee because every | | | | learn there is a great deal of skill required to hit a |
| time I looked down after swinging that freakin | | | | ball straight with a bent club in a cross wind.So the |
| club, there it was, smiling up at me, wondering | | | | next time you laugh at the poor guy or girl who is |
| why I wasn't hitting it. On the few occasions that | | | | hitting a golf club into the ground repeatedly, show |
| I did manage to hit it, it made a lovely plopping | | | | them a little sympathy as they may be at the |
| sound as it hit the water, sinking into the murky | | | | end of their teather. And the next time you see |
| depths of the nearest water hazard, never to be | | | | a pro sink a ball in 2 shots, stand in awe at the |
| seen again.Or I spent the rest of my time doing a | | | | amount of time, patience and effort they must |
| David Attenborough as I searched through the | | | | have put in to their game to become THAT |
| rough long grass (in vein I might add) looking for | | | | good.Jack Crow is a freelance writer and part |
| that elusive white golf ball. I actually managed to | | | | time golfer. When he's not writing articles he's |
| find many day glow and colored golf balls on my | | | | trying to improve his golf swing at his local course. |
| safari for my own but alas it was never found.In | | | | |