| Picture the scene: you've had a wardrobe | | | | around? |
| clear-out and, feeling virtuous, you take a bulging | | | | If you and your girlfriend/boyfriend feel that |
| bag of clothes to the charity shop. A week later | | | | trying again is the way forward, here are |
| you're wishing you hadn't been so ruthless, and | | | | Goodhew's tips to help you to back on track. |
| buy all your clothes back. But once you've put | | | | Keep all the lines of communication open |
| them on you realise the reason you gave them | | | | It's essential to not only talk about what went |
| away was because they just didn't fit you | | | | wrong but to also look at why you didn't talk |
| anymore, so it's back to Oxfam they go... | | | | about the problems at the time. Be patient and let |
| Okay, so we're likening an ex-boyfriend to an old | | | | each person have their say without interrupting |
| pair of jeans, but you get the idea. Getting back | | | | them. Talk about what has gone on in the interim |
| together with an ex is a relief at first, ending | | | | for each of you - be honest about what you've |
| weeks of misery where you missed each other | | | | been doing so that you don't start the next stage |
| and wondered why on earth you split up in the | | | | of the relationship with recriminations every time |
| first place. But what usually begins as a heady | | | | there's an argument. |
| romantic reunion, full of promises to never leave | | | | Don't make any rash decisions or plansThis is not |
| each other's side, can rapidly deteriorate into | | | | the time to get engaged or start trying for a |
| arguments and sulking as you discover that not | | | | baby. Don't do anything big in the first year - give |
| only are the old problems still there, but you've | | | | yourselves time to work at the 'new' relationship |
| found new reasons to fight too. | | | | and rebuild the foundations to give yourselves the |
| What was it that brought you together, and what | | | | best chance to make it work. |
| changed so badly that you split up? | | | | Take it slowly |
| When a relationship ends, for whatever reason, | | | | Don't rush back into living together if you were |
| it's tempting to look back on the good times with | | | | before - start dating each other instead and have |
| rose-tinted specs as the anger and frustrations | | | | sleep-overs at the weekend. Make an effort to |
| fade. But if things had been going well surely you | | | | do things differently to ensure you don't fall back |
| would still be together and would have worked at | | | | into old patterns. Try new restaurants and bars |
| any issues that came up? If the relationship stalled | | | | and take up a hobby you can enjoy together |
| and problems couldn't be solved, do you | | | | such as salsa dancing - in short, do anything to |
| realistically believe that you're both going to find | | | | help breathe new life into your relationship. |
| the impetus to make it work a second time | | | | |